2
Samuel chapter 3 reminds me of the challenges and cost of
reconciliation. When two people are divided after a bond has been
broken, it requires great effort to rebuild that bond. The chapter
begins, “The
war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long
time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew
weaker and weaker“.
Remember David was not the cause of the schism, Saul drove David
away. But we read that David had six sons born through six different
women while in Hebron. Deuteronomy 17:17 expressly prohibited the
king taking on multiple wives, “He
must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray“.
The sad result is that each of these sons brought pain and sorrow to
David. It is a real reminder of the unintended results of a break
up. Even after reconciliation we retain the scars of our separation.
During the years that David was estranged, he made compromises that
probably seemed justified at the time. When we are emotionally
broken, we can also feel spiritually broken.
Meanwhile,
“Abner
[the
commander of Saul’s army]
had been strengthening his own position in the house of Saul“.
He took advantage of the lack of leadership and seemingly ruled
through a puppet king. Abner was even accused of taking one of
Saul’s concubines for himself. This made him so angry, he turned
to David. Abner approached his former enemy, “Make
an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to
you“.
David was ready, but he required Abner to prove his position, “I
will make an agreement with you. But I demand one thing of you: Do
not come into my presence unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul
when you come to see me“.
Remember Michal was David’s first wife, but Saul took her away out
of jealousy and gave her to another man. Abner did everything he
promised, and then he went to Hebron to tell David. “So
David sent Abner away, and he went in peace“.
But there are always more complications healing broken bonds.
During one of the previous battles, Abner had killed the younger
brother of Joab, David’s general (2 Sam 2:23). Joab would avenge
the death of his brother. “Joab
then left David and sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him
back… But David did not know it“.
There are always outside pressures when we try to rebind ties. “To
avenge the blood of his brother Asahel, Joab stabbed him in the
stomach, and he died“.
When
David learned of the situation, he did not attempt to cover it up.
He spoke the plain truth. “Joab
and his brother Abishai murdered Abner because he had killed their
brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon… May his blood fall upon the
head of Joab and upon all his father’s house!”
David “wept
aloud at Abner’s tomb. All the people wept also. All the people took
note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them”.
It
is hard to read this without thinking of our need for to restore our
relationship with the King of Kings. According to 2 Corinthians
chapter 5, God did all the work necessary, “God
was reconciling the world to himself in Christ“.
Knowing our limitations, God Himself bore the pain by paying the
debt we could not. “God
made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might
become the righteousness of God“.
We even read that God “gave
us the ministry of reconciliation”
to one another. If you need healing in your life, here is the place
to start: “Be
reconciled to God“.