Proverbs
27 reminds me of leaving home. I lived in several states and needed
the help of friends and family along the way. I eventually ended up
in a new town where I knew no one. Alone, in a new place without any
support system presents new challenges. Perhaps this is Solomon’s
insights to his son in just such a situation. I realized quickly
that I had no history, nor reputation. Good, or bad, people did not
know any of my success or failures and it is tempting to exaggerate
certain details. He begins,”Do
not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.
Let
someone else praise you, and not your own mouth“.
You also do not know about other people’s relationship history and
that too can get you in trouble, “who
can stand before jealousy?“.
There is a natural mistrust of new people, so I learned quickly that
I had to be very transparent, “Better
is open rebuke than hidden love“.
Solomon notes, “Wounds
from a friend can be trusted“.
He also reminds us that lean times make us appreciate the times when
someone else stocked the fridge, “to
the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet“.
I believe the experience of stepping out on your own is a natural
process of maturity, “Like
a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home“.
After
basic provisions, starting a new life requires building new
friendships. He explains, “The
pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice“.
He is clear that old friendships do not get replaced, “Do
not forsake your friend“,
but we need people physically close to us as well, “better
a neighbor nearby than a relative far away“.
He encourages his son to make good choices, because he still
represents his family’s name, “Be
wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart“.
He says, use common sense, “The
prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay
the penalty“.
After
some financial advice, he turns to relationships. When people feel
alone, they sometimes settle for less than ideal partners. Solomon
again warns about choosing the right spouse, describing “A
quarrelsome wife“. He
says, “Restraining
her is like restraining the wind“.
My wife is my best friend, and I would tell all of my children that
their mate should be like a refreshing breeze in their life. It was
at this point in my life that I was lovingly embraced by a church
family. I was surrounded by men that studied God’s Word and loved
their wives. I observed that manly men can be humble and submit to
God’s authority. They can be tough, successful and determined,
while still bowing before God in prayer. Solomon says, “As
iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another“.
I believe that over time, the changes God makes in us become
visible, “As
water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart“.
These men taught me accountability. “Death
and Destruction
are
never satisfied, and neither are human eyes“.
For this reason we must build protection against a wandering eye.
Do you have firm lines that you will not cross? God has given the
man responsibility for his home and family. “Be
sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to
your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not
secure for all generations“.
What if you are single? I say find a friend like this: Jesus said,
“Greater
love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s
friends. You are My friends if you do what I command… I have
called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I
have made known to you”
(John 15:13). That is the best foundation to build a new life on!